If You Get Rejected Should You Try Again
The INSIDER Summary:
- Getting rejected stinks, just your reactions afterwards can make it worse.
- Experts told INSIDER the worst things y'all can practice afterwards being rejected are taking information technology personally, wallowing in sadness, and taking it out on the other person.
- This tin affect your mental wellness and your relationship with the person who rejected you.
There is nothing easy about getting rejected by a potential partner. It's embarrassing, it can bruise your ego, and it's disappointing. The future that you lot thought y'all might accept with them has been ripped out of your hands and that is never going to feel adept.
It'southward totally natural to want to comfort yourself in moments like these. No i will blame you lot if you have a little cry, lock yourself in your room for a night, and watch your sad movie of choice with some water ice foam. And of form, yous can cope in non-stereotypical ways also.
That comfort might be physically needed considering the feeling of rejection can really light up the part of the encephalon associated with physical pain. You're not merely soothing your emotions, but your physical well-existence.
And while in that location's no "right" way to deal with rejection, in that location are a few wrong ones that can not just damage your emotions simply put you on bad terms with the person who rejected you.
When I asked experts most this subject, the same respond came up fairly often: Don't take it personally.
"When nosotros are rejected it feels personal , but it usually has to do with many other factors; the person we are attracted to is not in a place for a relationship, the task interviewer had likewise many candidates, the publisher was looking for a different kind of book," psychologist Helen Odessky told INSIDER. "Taking it personally means, you lot blame yourself entirely for a situation that is two-sided. A amend option is to look at it from the other sides point of view and consider it not a good fit."
Taking it personally can exist hard on a person'due south mental health because information technology's easy to blame yourself when someone turns you downward. Just, what I heard from then many people is that near of the time, rejection has little to aught to do with you.
Psychologist Devon Berkheiser told INSIDER that some solid reflection may be in social club afterward a rejection, but the cardinal is non to become overboard and think there is anything inherently wrong with you.
"Much of the time, rejection does non mean that there is anything wrong with you, but simply that you are not the exact fit that the other person was looking for," she said. "Just because you aren't correct for somebody does not mean that there is something fundamentally wrong with you. At the aforementioned time, it may be worth taking an honest wait at yourself and considering whether at that place are some changes that you may want to make, in order to make yourself a better partner."
In addition, one of the worst things yous tin do when rejected is allowing that aforementioned Netflix rampage go on more than a few days, according tobehaviorist Linda Williams.
"The worst thing you can practise when romantically rejected is to wallow in the rejection," she told INSIDER.
And while all of these tin potentially hurt your own mental wellness, trying to convince the person who rejected you that they fabricated a mistake or getting angry with them can harm your relationship and ultimately make you feel worse.
"After a rejection, continuing to pursue that person demonstrates poor boundaries," psychologist John Paul Garrison said. "Poor boundaries oft suggest dysfunctional personality traits that stem from bug entirely unrelated to the romantic interest."
"1 of the absolute worst things to practice when you are rejected is to insult the person who rejected you," said Michelene Wasil, a licensed marriage and family unit therapist. "That doesn't give you lot a gratuitous pass to exist a hurtful a-pigsty. Take the rejection with dignity and acquire from the feel."
Rejection is never going to feel good, but it's as well never a dead-end. In the terminate, that person may actually be doing you a favor so you lot can find someone better suited to you, Bette Levy Alkazian, a psychotherapist, told INSIDER.
"In well-nigh cases, the rejection has null to do with you," she said. "Y'all are a perfect lucifer for someone out at that place, just not that person."
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Source: https://www.insider.com/what-you-should-not-do-when-someone-rejects-you-2017-6
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